Crapper Psychoanalysis
‘this is Dr. Frasier Crapper, I’m listening…’
Some people read on the crapper, some think, I would fit into with those who would talk to the toilet bowl (Btw Sachi has a huge toilet bowl, don’t you just hate those mini small cute ones?). So besides being 25 and has never achieved anything in my whole damn life, I asked the toilet bowl, why I can’t b more like my dad? Did you know when he was 25 he had bought himself this really cool Yamaha 125cc Superbike? or like my brother, by the age of 25 he was an executive and had bought himself a car. at 25, Michael Schumacher was the youngest ever Formula One World Champion. At the age of 25 what do I have to show for? besides doing the horizontal holka polka with my ever growing beer belly, and a record of 8 Tequilla shots before i start calling the bartender, 'bra tender', my life at this point seems errm..pointless.
you know last week i called my aunty in penang and she was on her way to an engagement, so i told her i'd call her back later but just then she told me i know the girl who is getting engaged, so naturaly the first thing that crossed my mind, 'oh shit, pls don't tell me its someone i slept with....' thank god it wasn't, but it was someone i held as a baby. she was a baby girl when i was like around 8. she must be only 19 the most. holy fucking peanuts, she's getting married? it doesn't freak me out that i'm getting old or anything, but it sure does scare me, she's so young and i bet you she wouldn't know the first thing about being in a marriage, MY PARENTS STILL DON'T KNOW?! oh well its her choice who are we to judge her, right. so hope she's happy.
oh dear toilet bowl, tell me this now, will i be the old man of the block, where everybody refers to as the 'Formula One Atuk'? i can picture it now, 79, toothless, with a bottle of whiskey, deck chair, a dog named Brutus. rambling to kids passing by about how i was there when the champions first rode into town.
'i remember a time when racing was all about....'
at the rate i'm going, they're only gonna find my body a week later. (vivid imagination i have but check this out), ever wonder what people would say after you kicked the bucket?
Coroner: by the looks of it, the deceased died approximately a week ago, that would be Sunday, around 10pm
Detective: check this out, it says here, the deceased was a Formula One fan
Coroner: yeah so?
Detective: last week was the German Grand Prix
Coroner: you think he died watching it?
Detective: could be…
Coroner: what a way to go, sad lonely old man, does it say who is he’s favourite driver or team?
Detective: what difference does it make; he ain’t gonna watch no more.
Coroner: at the rate Formula One’s going everybody watching, would rather be dead.
Detective: how would you know, you don’t watch Formula One?
Coroner: yeah I don’t but dead people is my business….
okay that just freaked me out, i hope they put a nice warm cloth on the table, those steel tables are bloody cold. but anyways, the toilet bowl told me this, that day is far away, so why bother worrying about it. achivements are for assholes, you on the other hand are a superstar, you don't need records. and besides so what if you die alone, point is one day you ARE gonna die, nothing you can do about that now can you? now grab ourself a handfull of toilet paper and get the fuck off me, Jesus Christ you are heavy. and what the fuck have you been eating, oh man lite a match, and don't forget to flush when you leave. time is up, sessions over.
too much gin in my bladder and too much smoke in my brains, but i'd still like to 'move it move it...'
Some people read on the crapper, some think, I would fit into with those who would talk to the toilet bowl (Btw Sachi has a huge toilet bowl, don’t you just hate those mini small cute ones?). So besides being 25 and has never achieved anything in my whole damn life, I asked the toilet bowl, why I can’t b more like my dad? Did you know when he was 25 he had bought himself this really cool Yamaha 125cc Superbike? or like my brother, by the age of 25 he was an executive and had bought himself a car. at 25, Michael Schumacher was the youngest ever Formula One World Champion. At the age of 25 what do I have to show for? besides doing the horizontal holka polka with my ever growing beer belly, and a record of 8 Tequilla shots before i start calling the bartender, 'bra tender', my life at this point seems errm..pointless.
you know last week i called my aunty in penang and she was on her way to an engagement, so i told her i'd call her back later but just then she told me i know the girl who is getting engaged, so naturaly the first thing that crossed my mind, 'oh shit, pls don't tell me its someone i slept with....' thank god it wasn't, but it was someone i held as a baby. she was a baby girl when i was like around 8. she must be only 19 the most. holy fucking peanuts, she's getting married? it doesn't freak me out that i'm getting old or anything, but it sure does scare me, she's so young and i bet you she wouldn't know the first thing about being in a marriage, MY PARENTS STILL DON'T KNOW?! oh well its her choice who are we to judge her, right. so hope she's happy.
oh dear toilet bowl, tell me this now, will i be the old man of the block, where everybody refers to as the 'Formula One Atuk'? i can picture it now, 79, toothless, with a bottle of whiskey, deck chair, a dog named Brutus. rambling to kids passing by about how i was there when the champions first rode into town.
'i remember a time when racing was all about....'
at the rate i'm going, they're only gonna find my body a week later. (vivid imagination i have but check this out), ever wonder what people would say after you kicked the bucket?
Coroner: by the looks of it, the deceased died approximately a week ago, that would be Sunday, around 10pm
Detective: check this out, it says here, the deceased was a Formula One fan
Coroner: yeah so?
Detective: last week was the German Grand Prix
Coroner: you think he died watching it?
Detective: could be…
Coroner: what a way to go, sad lonely old man, does it say who is he’s favourite driver or team?
Detective: what difference does it make; he ain’t gonna watch no more.
Coroner: at the rate Formula One’s going everybody watching, would rather be dead.
Detective: how would you know, you don’t watch Formula One?
Coroner: yeah I don’t but dead people is my business….
okay that just freaked me out, i hope they put a nice warm cloth on the table, those steel tables are bloody cold. but anyways, the toilet bowl told me this, that day is far away, so why bother worrying about it. achivements are for assholes, you on the other hand are a superstar, you don't need records. and besides so what if you die alone, point is one day you ARE gonna die, nothing you can do about that now can you? now grab ourself a handfull of toilet paper and get the fuck off me, Jesus Christ you are heavy. and what the fuck have you been eating, oh man lite a match, and don't forget to flush when you leave. time is up, sessions over.
too much gin in my bladder and too much smoke in my brains, but i'd still like to 'move it move it...'
posted by Unknown at 12:23
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home