what the fuck do you want?

what do you want? what do i want?

ricardo wants friends. my mom wants me back, my dad wants me to succeed, but what do i want? do i want to just smile? do i want to laugh again? do i want to cry? do i want to just curl up and die? do i want my first class degree? do i want a million dollars? do i want BMW 5-series? what the fuck do i want? what the fuck does everyone want?

'sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name and they're all glad you came'

where does this journeys take us? no where? just into wrinkles and grey hair? what is our purpose in life? just be around and make sure you end up in an expensive wooden box, so someone can push the button and turn you into ash?

'when you are born, you only bring with you tears and even that you give it to atleast four people when you leave'

what is eternal happiness? is it a fairy tale, did it die along when peter pan grew up? what is immortality? is it just something you get on the track in Formula One? why so many questions? not enough coffee? what is a kiss? what is the meaning of 'i love you'? why is there sunshine? why is there a sunrise, a sunset? what does the end hold for us? how does the end come? tsunami? gun to the head?

does HE exist? what is HIS purpose? where is HE? does he have form? does HE need a form? is HE with us? among us? who gave birth to HIM?

what? where? how? when? why?

~DeadMan Walking~

(why do i still have to walk?)